Video Note
by MistressYaoi
Summary: I clutched my hair and pulled, frustrated. "I mean, I know I'm causing damage, and I'm so sorry for it! I'm so sorry that I'm not perfect..." / Danny leaves one last note before finally saying goodbye. / Some angst because the poor baby is just a big ball of angst, and I feed off that like a leech-2nd chap is the too long awaited sequel! -
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Danny Fenton is my baby, and he is such a angsty baby, so I wrote some angst. Here, have some self harm and implied suicide. I hated writing this, I really, truly did, because I do both those things and I just. I had to stare at this and try not to write all my feelings down lol. This is a short thing, but it's a trip!**

 **** I changed an iiiitty bitty thing, but it makes all the difference, just read the last few paragraphs to those who already read it! Next chapter will be out today or tomorrow ****

 **-o-o-o-**

I sighed and looked around the room, making sure everything was in place. My nervousness was palpable, I couldn't stand it anymore.

It it was now or never...

I turned on the video camera and sat down at my bed. I smiled and did a little wave before resting my elbows on my knees. "Alright... So. I've thought of preparing a speech or to just leave a little note behind, but. But no one would know then, would they?" I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "I mean... You all will probably hate me for doing this unless you already do..."

I looked down and whispered, "I'm going ghost." The two bands encircled my body,leaving me with my white hair and green eyes. I stood up and turned in a full circle before sitting back down. I sighed heavily and looked directly into the camera. "Well, whoever finds this first, this is the first secret you'll see. I, Danny Fenton, am your alleged hero-slash-ghost disgrace of the town." I chuckled weakly.

"The second secret is that... I'm so tired." I sniffled and changed back, rubbing at my nose. "I'm so god damn, fucking _tired_ , you wouldn't _believe_. Everything hurts, all the time. My whole body aches when I lay down from all the ghost battles and how I have to avoid so many ghost hunters. I can't sleep because of the pain, and then, if I do manage, I get nightmares!

"Every night, it's something different - ghosts finally overpowering me, not getting strong enough, my own fucking parents ripping me apart limb from limb - all of it! I think of it all and lately, it's become such a fucking paranoia that I'm not sure what to do with myself. I go to class only to focus on tensing up and get a ghost or tensing up when it's Dash and his little fucking gang.

"And then... You don't know how much it hurts to... To have one half that you know your parents won't accept." I sniffled and rubbed at my eyes, ashamed that I even had the nerve to cry. "I'm so tired going out to kick ghost butt, saving the town yet again, and then coming home only to be bombarded with ghost fighting machinery and talk of how much my parents hate them!"

I clutched my hair and pulled, frustrated. "I mean, I know I'm causing damage, and I'm so sorry for it! I'm so sorry that I'm not perfect, I'm sorry that I have to teach myself all of this fucking shit and the only one who actually _wants_ to teach me, the only one who _can_ teach me, they just want to lead me into being their fucking evil apprentice!"

I sighed and shook my head. "I just... think that sometimes I should have taken his advice sometimes, consequences be damned. Then you would all actually be afraid of me, then you would have a reason to hate me like most of you do..."

I rubbed my eyes and fought the urge to flop onto my bed. "I'm sure you've all noticed my clothing change too... I've told Jazz and Sam and Tuck that it was really just to hide the bruises from ghost fighting. And that was believable because you know, some of them were. Mostly they...

"They were mostly cuts actually."

I sighed and slowly took off my shirt. I looked up at the camera and forced a smile as I saw myself through the view finder. "Don't I look handsome?" I chuckled lowly and rubbed my forehead.

My torso was littered in deep purple and some yellowish bruises and my arms with cuts. "Most of the ones on my body are from ghost fighting. And most of the cuts are self inflicted. When you have a body like mine, you're pretty numb to pain, so I cut a lot. When... When I first started, I couldn't... stop. At one point, I cut for hours, I wouldn't leave the bathroom." I chuckled at the memory, slumping forward, a futile attempt to hide my disgusting body. "I told you guys I wasn't feeling well and... y-you all believed it."

I sighed, resting my head in my hands. "Sometimes, all I wanted was a response. _"Are you sure you're okay?"_ or _"Why are you tired?"_ , just anything to let me know I was loved," I said with a glance up to the lens, "but no one ever did. No one really... n-no one really thought that I would be afraid... afraid to die, to never be good enough, ashamed of what I am, no one talked, no one listened. And so."

I sat up straight, folding my hands in my lap. I looked straight into the camera, smile on my face. "And so, the final conclusion would be, I'm fucking done. I can't... stand this anymore. I can't stand the helplessness, the hopelessness, the stress, the hatred, how everyone would be ha-appier if I was just go-ne." I cleared my throat, not bothering to wipe my eyes. "I'll be gone when you find this. And when you bother to watch it, I'll - I'll be dead."

I smiled through the tears streaming down my face. I finally felt calm, I finally felt like I could do something that I had control over, something that no one else could affect... And no one would care. My face contorted and my shoulders started shaking as my body was wracked with sobs. I buried my face in my hands and cried, shirtless, battered, bruised, undignified. Just like how I felt inside. They would all finally get to see the real me.

I grabbed a tissue from my bed side table and wiped my face before continuing on. "I-I-I have no clue if I die that my ghost half dies or vice versa. But, I'll take all precautions and grab one of your signature ecto guns dad... And I'll be falling off the south bridge an hour after I finish this, just to be sure."

I pulled the shirt back over my head and wiped my face one more time before smiling. "Goodbye everyone." And with that, I shut the camera and walked over to me desk. I put a little note reading 'watch me' and left.

I had one last job to do, one that everyone would love. I would finally be gone.

I smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

I stood leaning on the bridge, ecto gun set aside on the railing for now. It was the middle of the day, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, there was a slight sea breeze, and the waves were lapping at the beams holding the entire structure up. It all seemed like a normal day, and I guess this was pretty normal for me too - hurting myself.

Except this time would be pretty permanent.

I sigh shakily while tugging at the hem of my shirt. I checked my watch. 3:08... Eight minutes past a whole hour. No one has come yet, driving over the bridge or in search for me. I was a pretty expendable resource, just... a hero ( _friend, son_ something whispered maliciously at me) no one needed or wanted I suppose.

 _You're worthless kid, you can't do nothing but hurt._

I stood up and straightened out my shirt, waiting just a few more seconds. Just a little longer...

 _You waiting for them to notice you? Don't waste your breath, do it quick, do it fast and do it Now._

But... What if someone does care?

 _It's their turn to cry, aren't you tired of crying?_

Yeah... I guess... I stared long and hard at the railing before jumping up and sitting on it, back to the waves.

 _Aren't you tired of feeling useless? Aren't you sick of telling people you're tired and no one asking how so or what caused it or just why?_

I nodded softly, feeling a little silly to be having second thoughts right now.

 _No one asking Why you have cuts or Why your teeth are fucked up from all that damn stomach acid burning your throat or the change in clothes or the bruises - Aren't you tired?!_

I sniffled, and turned the gun round and round in my hands. Everyone has a subsoncious, I suppose this is the truth...

If no one noticed then, they would surely notice now.

Tears dripped steadily down my face, my chest felt tight and I tried desperately not to make a sound. There was a car coming from far off in the distance. I laughed brokenly, tilting my head back. Man, were they in for a show.

I put the gun just below my chest where my ghostly core would be. I wish I could just seperate so I could shoot the ghost me and then the human me... then I would know for sure that I would be gone. One way to find out.

I sighed and closed my eyes, finger on the trigger. I smiled. One blast and it would be over...

I grinned and pulled the trigger.

My chest constricted, I couldn't breathe. My ears were ringing and my blood ran cold. And then, weightlessness. I could see my life flashing before my eyes, the more happier memories.

Mom, Dad, Jazz, Sam, Tuck, Dash, Paulina, Vlad, Val, memories just flashed through my mind. I loved and hated them all - cherished past and the resentment that I couldn't get such a life back, that I had to resort to this. The memories muddled together and the last thing I saw was the bridge.

Goodbye...

I hit the water with a crash.

-o-o-o-

"I'm hooome, and I bought take out! You don't have to cook lunch Danny!" I slip out of my coat and shoes before walking to the kitchen.

I glanced at the clock. 2:10. He usually waits for me to come home before he starts eating.

"Little brother, come down!" I called, setting the table. I couldn't hear him walking around so he was probably taking a nap or listening to music. Danny Fenton was never one to give up food.

I chuckled, walking up the stairs only to find the door slightly ajar. He never did that... Maybe because he was alone most of the day?

I walked carefully, a foreboading feeling in my gut. It was just a door Jazz, don't worry about it. That didn't help me much, but I kept saying it as I pushed it open, testing out a soft "Danny?"

He wasn't there.

I checked carefully if there was any signs of a ghost fight, but the room looked pristine (or as pristine as you can get with clothes in a pile on your floor and your desk a mess). I sat wearily on his bed. Even though he's been doing this for three years now, it still frightens me when he leaves. I sigh and hang my head, letting my thoughts wander to how this had all started.

I chuckle at the mundane thoughts, of how I pushed to be included in their team at one point, at how Danny never was good at keeping secrets from me.

I smile and look around the room one last time. It used to be filled with all things space - astronaut figures, model space ships. He still has them, I've seen them when I come in to clean this pigsty.

There was a note on his dresser. My eyebrows raise in shock. What's this? Did he actually try to leave me a note to tell me where he's flown off too for once?

I picked up the note, reading the simple words, "Watch Me" on it, uncovering our parents old camcorder. The pit in my stomach never left, but it hit me harder than earlier. I tried to make sense of it - it was just a little video note Daniel made. Why did it feel so... foreboding? So devastatingly important?

I walked downstairs slowly, fumbling with it. I turned it on only to find Danny, shirtless, a weak smile as one of the first things to come up. I almost dropped the camcorder, there was no way that could be him - so scarred and bruised and _afraid_. I rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a phone before dialing Sam, Tuck and mom and dad. I couldn't watch this alone... I couldn't even press play.

I shook at the tears in his eyes, the tiny, devastated smile on his face. I didn't want to look down at his torso again, but I couldn't close the camcorder either.

I shakily told everyone to come over, that it was important.

I sniffled and sat down heavily in one of the chairs. "Oh Danny..." I guess he actually could keep some things from me. I laughed bitterly at the thought.

-o-o-o-

I ran up the steps, watching as Tucker ran from the other side. We both nodded to each other. I knew he felt the same pressure as I did, the same weight in his chest as I did in mine.

"I'm assuming you got a call from Jazz," he said as he leaned against the railing.

I nodded and rang the doorbell. "Don't you think she sounded - "

"Terrified?"

"Yeah..."

We looked at each other before looking at the ground. We heard rather than saw the Fentons drive up in their ghost-catching van. We gave our polite smiles and waves. If they looked worried, they certainly didn't show it.

Jazz finally opened the door, eyes red and puffy. I just staring at her face -the usually composed Jasmine Fenton looked so... broken. She choked out a chuckle, motioning everyone inside.

She had hooked up a camcorder to their TV in the living room. She sniffled, grabbing more tissues before speaking. "Sit down everyone. I couldn't watch this without you all here with me... I was t-too scared to."

I sat down carefully, my heart slowly beating faster. I could feel my palms sweat as I was biting my lip, glancing over to my right to see Tucker not much better than I was.

Jazz let out a dry sob, held up her hand as Maddie tried to get up and hug her, before turning on the TV.

I gasped, hands flying up to my mouth. I could feel tears stinging my eyes as I saw the image.

Danny... The strongest boy - man - I know, covered in bruises and scars, tears dripping down his face. "That... that's not him," I whispered shakily, eyes never straying from the image.

"Oh god, I wish it wasn't," Jazz said, tears slowly streaking down her cheeks. "I-I haven't pressed play yet so... I wanted everyone here for this, I wouldn't be able to do it myself."

I nodded, leaning forward, hands covering my mouth as I stared intently at the screen.

"P-Press play."

-o-o-o-

We've broken traffic laws in the past,but the Fentons always seemed to avoid the it. Probably saying they were trying to save the town or something. I would be shocked if we didn't die with Mr. Fenton at the wheel. I sighed shakily, hand gripping the armrest before looking back at the three ladies in the back. Sam was crying silently, back hunched and curled into Jazz. Jazz was sniffling and trying to comfort her as much as she could. Mrs. Fenton didn't look too good, she was just sitting there, face blank and arms crossed.

I wasn't in much better condition, but I tried to not let it show. The ladies were already afraid, and I couldn't help but hold onto some hope that Danny would be okay.I glanced at the clock. 3:10. We finished the video a little late, but dear god, I hope he's still with us. I watched intently as we sped down the bridge, looking for signs of black or white hair.

"There!" Jack cried, pressing down harder on the gas. 70 in the streets and now nearing 110 on the highway. Fucking christ...

I grinned, he was alright.

... The gun shot took us all aback. No. But. We were here. This isn't right, we're right here. Danny, we're here to rescue you from yourself, why are you... Why are you falling? Go ghost and come back up here man, this isn't funny.

I started laughing, tears streaming down my face. Jack just stared blankly ahead while Maddie shrieked and Jazz and Sam clung to each other in the back seat.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

-o-o-o-

 **AN: So. This is the official end to this story. I left it hanging for months lol xD I apologize for that my dears.**

 **I was spurred to write because it's the first of October, so angst day in the phandom! :D a Hope you don't mind the cliff hanger haha xD**


End file.
